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Wednesday, 26 March 2014

Making some progress...........

Sorry another long post..........

Well I've been taking the new medication for about 3 weeks now (had to increase them) but I think they're starting to have some effect. My thoughts are starting to slow down a little and for all I'm still sleeping poorly I think it's a little better than it was. The down side of them very, very bizarre life like dreams and extremely sore joints (back and wrists especially). I did convince my GP to prescribe some different sleeping pills and they do give me 4 - 6 hours solid sleep but leave me feeling hung over and uncoordinated but if I only take them on the weekend that in itself is an improvement (1 or 2 nights sleep per week).



I took Debbie's advice and have a little notebook full of things that give me pleasure and also my UFO's and projects I plan to do this year. I look in this book when I'm feeling lost or when I plan to do something and I "tick" off each bit as I do it. It might only be choosing fabric or the thread for a stitchery but each "tick" is an achievement. I consciously don't set out to complete a project in one go then I can't "fail". 

I'm still not able to do anything "new" by that I mean make anything using a pattern/tutorial I haven't used before but that will come in time for all it's quite frustrating at the moment as when I'm "me" I can do that!!

For all I'm having more good days it doesn't take much to make the anxiety and stress to resurface. I sat both my DD's down and explained in more detail what's wrong with me and asked them both to take on a little more responsibility around the house and so far so good. I've made some compromises and met them 1/2 way (being a perfectionist; this is a big step for me). I'm making my days simpler which in turn makes them less stressful. Once DD2 has gone to school I go for a 2.5km walk with our Labrador (depending how the she feels!) and then I really don't plan anything I just do whatever I feel like. Some days I have things I must do but I try not to have 2 days running where I do. I try and do some craft each day as this is really good for my soul. 



I'm no nearer work the psychiatrist report says it will be weeks even months before I'm ready..... Not sure how I feel about that (I certainly have no desire to return to my current role). My rehab consultant is away on leave until 28/4/14 so I'm guessing nothing much will change before then (which is a relief). I haven't seen or heard from my managers since my last case conference but will have to take them my new certificate on Friday (not really looking forward to that as I'm not sure how I'll be received). My GP feels I'm not yet able to make a decision regarding what I'm going to do but I feel I'm at a crossroads; luckily I have some time think through all my options before I need to decide which path to take.



Blogging about this journey is helping immensely and maybe it will help someone else too. The support from "Blog Land" is unbelievable and I thank each and everyone of you; "virtual" support is just as important as the "real" support.

Thank you
Hugz
Melanie
xxx


7 comments:

Jo said...

Oh well if you you get some inspiration in every second day it's better than none.
My car broke down yesterday so my daughter said she would lend me hers. So off we go getting her to work so I can use her car then we hit a roo. Her car needs to be towed and not available for a few weeks. Ahh the trouble we go through for a good deed. Keep you head up high. Time will pass and we all manage somehow.....
Keep reading blogland

shez said...

hi Melanie i hope things improve for you and boy i sure hope you start getting more sleep ,you poor thing ,hangin there and take care.xx

Peg - Happy In Quilting said...

One day at a time Mel....take care...

Sharon Jones said...

Little steps are good. Funny been thinking of you the last few days wondering how you were doing. Being with your dog and walking are good things to do.
Warm hugs xo

Wendy said...

Some inspiration is better than none...take it at your pace and don't worry about the rest...I am lifting you up in prayer for restful sleep and peace of mind...hugs sent across the pond to you.

Anthea said...

Small steps each day, or most days, is a good thing Mel...
I think that a lot of work places get so caught on their conferences, categories & meetings, they forget that there is actually a real person with very real issues involved... don't worry about that for now. You are doing good things for yourself.

Big Hugs, Anthea

Wendy said...

I'm glad to hear the medication is starting to do you some good. Give it more of a chance and it should keep getting just a little tiny bit better each day. If necessary, you can increase the meds and before you kmow it you will be feeling much more yourself again. You are doing so well, you really are. Do try to remember that and never ever beat yourself up for the things you "can't" do. You've got the rest of your life to make things you've never made before, for now you need to be resting and doing things which make you feel calm.