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Monday 23 February 2015

How am I????????????

Truthfully ......... not great. I was travelling along OK and then the dreaded Work Cover emailed me one evening (well it was when I checked my email) asking me to attend a psychiatric review in 3 days time (my claims consultant had forgotten to send out a letter informing me of the appointment). To say this sent my anxiety off the scale is an under statement. Very little sleep that night worrying about contacting him to explain I'd already made arrangements to take DD1 to an appointment that I wouldn't be able to reschedule. He was OK about it as it was his mistake and he told me he'd make a new appointment for me and let me know.........



Still no appointment after 2 weeks............ mentioned it at my GP appointment and she rang him there and then - lo and behold I had an appointment date within 10 minutes (he rang while I was still with my GP)..........

Another 2 weeks waiting and I finally had the review last Tuesday. Not sure how it went really, told her I really don't think I'll ever nurse again and for me I think the best option is a redemption and then I can really focus on a return to health rather than a return to work (without stressing about Work cover and what they'll expect of me next). 
More waiting now for the report (they usually take 4 weeks) - more stressing while I wait ......... I do have lots I could be doing...... the SAL with Chooky for one - I have made a start, a slow one but a start. Even catching up with blogs is a struggle.....

Motivation is none existent, enthusiasm for anything is lacking too....... I know I have many, many things to be grateful for but I would just like some closure on this chapter of my life and be able to move onto the next......


Hugz
Melanie
xxx 

7 comments:

Diane-crewe said...

it is so hard to wait for this type of news x Try and find other things to distract you .. I wont say don't worry as YOU WILL ... so try and put your faith in the professionals who are responsible for your care xx

Janet said...

As I don't follow your blog I don't know your whole story but it sounds like it might be similar to mine. I'm a social worker, I worked as a probation officer and one day there was an incident and I knew I couldn't do the work anymore. It took three years of assessments and no action from my workplace - I was going to work (sometimes), not working with clients and not being given anything else to do - before the workplace finally took it seriously and put me into an accommodation position. Another two years of wallowing there and I am finally back to where I can get up in the morning and I don't even mind going to work most of the time. It will get better for you I am sure. Depression is hard to beat and the work situation probably makes it worse for you. My advise is to remember that you are worth it, get exercise even if you have to drag yourself for a walk, and see a counsellor if you aren't already. I hope you don't mind me giving you my two cents.

Jo said...

Hi Mel, the not knowing what will happen next is the hardest. Just try to get up each day and find that one little that that will put a smile on your face. Wether it be reading a blog, chatting to a friend, threading a needle or even a cuddle from your daughters. Just know there are people that love you....

Susan said...

Sending you a cyber hug for now...and a real one soon in Brisbane???

Anthea said...

Hi Mel
All that stress is just terrible for any person living with the types of issues you have - wouldn't they think it better to move things along & get closure for everyone involved, especially the 'patient'??

I've never heard of 'redemption' before; is it some kind of employment classification?

Cheryll said...

Sending hugs from me to you Mel. Try to take pleasure from the simply things each day... & remember... it will end. xox

KimM said...

Take care, Mel - sending you lots of cyber hugs and well wishes.
Love
xxx