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Thursday, 10 April 2014

Can't see the light for another bend........

Well I thought I was on the upwards trend toward the light but these last two weeks I've found a bend and can't see the light at all. I've been feeling anxious but can't pin point why; comes on for no apparent reason and stays around for a while. 


That sums up how my head feels........ Also feeling flat with no inclination to do a lot. So back to the GP and another change in meds and sleeping tablets. I can certainly see why sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture; so I'm going to try stillnox (bit reluctant given the bad press but it is what the independent psychiatrist recommended). I have to take no anti-depressants for a week and then start the new one's next Wednesday. As I seem to be sensitive to any medications it's going to take a month before I'm up to the recommended dose. (These are what I need)......



I had my regular date with the psychologist today and she tried some hypnosis with me. I've never had hypnosis before; not really sure how it went; my brain wandered +++++ and couldn't stay on task but I'll give it another go. I've been having recurring dreams (for Harry Potter fans it's as though I'm in the Ministry of Magic and all the paper "memo's" are flying down a long dark tunnel) and they're either bright pink or bright purple! No idea what they mean and I'm not sure I want to try to work it out.


I'm trying to do some craft each day; some days it is just "feeling the fabric" but that tactile touch does release some endorphins even if I don't actually make anything; I get a positive vibe. I have made a bag for DD1 (she asked for one instead of chocolate for Easter) but that's taken me the best part of 2 weeks when normally it would take about 4 hours - I found a new method for attaching the "D" rings but my brain just couldn't compute and that got me quite frustrated - they're only 1" by 2" pieces of fabric but could I figure it out..........NO. They're on but I'm not really happy with them DD1 will be and at the end of the day that's what matters.



DD1 chose the outer and lining fabric and I chose the yellow for the card slots and the zipper pouch (yellow is one of her favourite colours). DD2 has chosen chocolates which at least will be less stressful LOL.

We have had a positive this week 28mm rain ....



Take care
Hugz
Melanie
xxx








5 comments:

Jo said...

Well done. Your bag looks great. DD should be very happy with it.. Keep up the good work

shez said...

You have done an awesome job of the bag Mel,well done and hope things improve for you.xx

Peg - Happy In Quilting said...

So pleased you did a post Mel.....and that bag...wow..well done it is gorgeous....

Nicky said...

So please to see your post, keep your chin up you will get through this tough time. Your bag is fabulous, you've done a great job!

Jewells said...

WOW! love the bag...
I find the weather has a lot of influence on mood swings.. dull weather, dull mood..sunny day, happy face... keep up getting more good days than bad.. you'll get there!