A quilt for Scarlett

I just have to share this quilt that is 99% finished (I just have to sew on the labels). 

I made it for my friends granddaughter "Scarlett Winter". Scarlett came along at just the right time last year - my friend was nursing her mum at home in the latter stages of a terminal illness. When mum died my dear friend gave me most of her sewing supplies, including a horn sewing table and a bunch of UFO's; the only request was I finish and use everything. The centre of the quilt was a UFO but wasn't sure what to do with it; after many months of deliberation and a birthday fast approaching I remembered a fairy panel I had in my stash. It was meant to be - mums name was Shirley and there were 2 Shirley Poppy Fairies on the panel. 

I found an amazing tutorial by Jenny of Elefantz all about printing onto fabric.... I wrote out the quilts story and then followed Jenny's very clear instructions and voila ....... printed labels.

I think there'll be lots of tears when Scarlett receives her quilt and Nanna reads the story.
Hugz
Melanie
xxx 

No steps forward just a shuffle.

It's been a while since I did any blogging - even "visiting" others has been a struggle these last few weeks. The latest medication my GP has me on doesn't seem to be helping much so at my last visit we discussed having a teleconference with a psychiatrist. The thought of this sends my anxiety through the roof but the rational side of me knows that this is the best option to set me in the right direction.

I've also been referred for another psychiatric review by work cover; again just gives me something else to stress about. I just wish they would talk to one another and for me to only go through one consultation.

My biggest fear is that either of them determine that I should go back to work asap. Each time I go into work I see the stress and pressure that the staff are under and I have no desire to put myself back into that position. Emotionally I'm still on empty; not able to deal with my own feelings/needs let alone anyone else's. 

I went to see my manager last week but she was "too busy" to see me - that hurt and left me feeling disappointed, even more unsupported and as though I'm in the "too hard" basket. The rational side of me again can look at it objectively but the emotional side is what's controlling me at the moment.

Mothers day left me feeling nothing. My youngest DD wrote me a beautiful poem and made me a bookmark and my elder DD bought me a voucher (with her own money LOL) and I know I should have felt immensely happy and thankful - I just felt nothing and this then led to me feeling like an awful parent.  I've talked about this with the psychologist and she thinks it may be a side effect of the medication - some anti-depressants can leave you feeling numb.

I know I have many blessings in my life and seem to be complaining about minor things but for this chapter in my life they are having a huge impact. I'm not usually emotional but at the moment I can feel myself getting teary often and then I fight to stop it; it's as though I have very little control over anything so the things I can control I'm going to.....

My psychologist encourages me to keep up with the blogging - it does help. She's also set me a task for next week - to write an account of everything that has occurred since last year. I have started but am finding this very difficult as I "relive" the events and that as you can imagine sends the anxiety through the roof!! but she says it will help in the long run to face these fears rather than avoiding them.

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. I've made some amazing friends through "blogland" and if by sharing my struggles it helps someone else then it's worth the anxiety to write it all down.

I'll let you know how I get on with the telepsych (it's not for a couple of weeks unfortunately).

Hugz
Melanie
xxx 

Secret Sewing for FNSI

I put a few stitches on a few different items for FNSI - I can't concentrate on any one thing for very long so this way I still achieve something. 
I finished the stitching on the "Dirt" wall hanging for my friend and I put some stitches into 2 separate secret sewing items for 2 of Cheryll's swaps (The 12" mini swap and the Christmas in July Swap) both are coming along nicely; even if it is a little slow.

To see what everyone else got up to click here
Hugz
Melanie
xxx 

FNWF

I joined in the fun on Friday with 58 other lovely ladies at FNWF; check out what they all got up to here. I continued to work on a wall hanging for a friend. I'm stitching the saying at the moment. I don't know about anyone else but I'm never happy with back stitch so I tried something different - I think it's called stem stitch so far I'm really pleased with it.
Thanks Cheryll for having us all round; the pineapple slice was delicious.


Hugz
Melanie
xxx